I see mothers writing birth stories and I realise that it is something so unique that each mother has her own different story. A birth is such a beautiful thing, an amazing miracle of love. I would like to share the birth story of my daughter Anu.
When I found out I was pregnant, it was so exciting. I couldn't wait to tell my husband, mother and mother-in-law. It felt so special. That was just under 3 months and I didnt feel any changes yet but knowing that there is a tiny little life in me was such an amazing feeling.
Back then, I was in India and was working for a software firm in Trivandrum. My husband was working in Cochin so we got to see each other only during the weekends or on holidays. Every Friday, I would wait for it to become 5:30 so I could catch the train for cochin. Even after I became pregnant, it was the same routine. I would always have a good novel (usually a mystery novel), some snack, water and friends. The train was always exploding with people going home to their families after a heavy week of work. Getting on the train was like the hardest thing. Most of the time, the compartments would be overflowing with people that we had to squeeze through to somehow find a safe place to stand. Even after I got pregnant, I did do the squeezing for a few weeks but then later on I realised that it may not be the safest thing to do.
Then I started booking the A/C compartments which would always have space for me to climb into without too much hassle. That way, the journey home was still comfortable and exciting.
Then on Sundays I would again ride the train to get back to Trivandrum. That was the worst. I still remember how I felt. Ever since my marriage, I had travelled to Trivandrum from Cochin on Sunday nights. But the increasing amount of experience that I had in this travel did not decrease my sorrow of leaving my husband behind. That feeling was so unbearable but I had no choice but to go. But a day after I got back to Trivandrum, I would feel better and relaxed once again. The cycle repeated itself over and over.
I want to tell you about my in-laws. They are the best parents anyone could hope for. After I completed 4 months of pregnancy they decided that they didn't want me to travel such a long distance anymore. So they came to stay with me at Trivandrum. We got a nice apartment in a very convenient location and that gave me some very good memories. That way, I didn't have that Sunday sorrow about leaving everyone behind. It was my husband's turn to do the travelling. He would come to Trivandrum on Fridays and leave on Monday mornings. That was sad too but the intensity was lower since I still had family with me.
The stay at Trivandrum was really nice. My mother-in-law (I call her 'amma') would cook all my favorite dishes and when I come back from work, all three of us would go for a walk so that I got my daily dose of exercise. Those were the times when I really bonded with them.
Then when I had completed 8 and a half months of pregnancy, I took my maternity leave and we all went home to rest and prepare for the delivery. Two days before the expected date, I got admitted to the hospital. But when my doctor checked she said I wasn't ready and asked me to wait. We went back to the room and waited. In the evenings, we walked in the corridors to help make me ready sooner. But whatever we did, the doctor still said I wasn't ready.
Then 2 days later, I had a little pain and they admitted me to the maternity ward. But once again, they said I had to wait longer. So I lay down in the ward and everywhere around me, pregnant ladies were taken into the labour room and they all had their babies and went their ways. I was the only one who was just lying and waiting. After a while, it really started to bug me. Later on as night progressed, I fell asleep. My mother noticed that I was asleep and realised that I wasn't having the pain anymore. So at midnight, she called my doctor and the doctor said that I should have a C-Section since it would be risky to wait any longer. So I quickly got dressed in white and got wheeled into the delivery room. Outside everyone waited praying for a safe delivery. They quickly put me under local anaesthesia and I felt really drowsy and kept dozing off.
Under the anaesthesia, I totally lost control of my thoughts. I couldn't even remember why I was there. Then after what seemed like a few minutes, the doctor told me I had given birth to a baby girl. Several days later, I wished I had just looked up to see how she was immediately after she was born but at that time I was going in and out of consiousness that I couldn't even think straight. After the procedure, I was taken to the ICU and given oxygen. Again I dozed off. Sometime later my mom brought her to me.
That was the moment when we connected. She was so tiny. I wasn't fully conscious and I couldn't get up because of the pain. I didn't get a proper look at her but whatever I saw, was magic and it was love. That moment transformed me completely. Seeing my bundle of joy brought tears to my eyes and after my mom took her away after I fed her, all I wanted to do was see her again.
Till the moment I was taken into surgery, the first person on my mind was always my husband. All I wanted to do was see him but after giving birth, the first person I wanted to see was my little daughter. If that is not a miracle what is? I had seen her for under a minute and here I was already attached to her. And I do feel sad to admit that my husband has indeed taken second place, something I thought would never happen.
Anyone who is a mom knows the moment and unless you are a mom, whatever you imagine will never even take you close to the real feeling. Its the be'st feeling in the world.
Now Anu is 2 years old and a cute and naughty little toddler but however old she grows up to be, she will always be my baby girl.